i cant do anything.fight for him? will it even matter.i cant fight for something that doesn’t want me.Its a lost cause.
So i have to let him go.why did i hold on so tightly.i feel like a leach.No one likes a leach.
Why, out of all the man, did i fall for this one……cause one upon a time he made me feel so beautiful, so unique.Like i was important.And for once i didnt feel like the scum of the earth.Someone needed me, someone actually needed my comfort.and i let this feeling of completion devour me whole.And i liked the feeling so much that i didnt want to lose it.But i did.
and when he did let go i’d fall into this deep hole of depression, cause i felt useless.now whats my meaning? And this is the whole dilemma in my life.that im useless.that i have nothing good to offer
My fear is being a waste of life.
and im not good at doing anything….i just cause problems.
I want to be someones escape.
i want to be the reason for someones smile.
but here comes another dilemma.i am not attracted to anyone else.i try to gain feelings for someone else…but theres nothing.i feel like some kinda robot.I have to pretend i feel something, lie to myself as much as i can, trick myself into thinking i like this or that person.When i dont.
I fear ill be trapped loving the same person forever.
and in some cases thats good.but not now..
im so young i want to live life….but this feeling keeps me tied down.and as much as i want to run away….i come back.
i’m incredibly weak.and im scared.im so fucking scared…
i don’t know what to do.
i feel so spineless.Love makes you so damn vulnerable.
but i’m up against someone whose trying to forget me.someones who never felt the same.
i could tell him everything. absolutely everything, i could let him read this damn tumblr, and he wouldn’t even budge.it would mean nothing to him.
goes to show you…you can love someone with every part of your being and….
well
you still wont get a happy ending.
